The FIX WAS IN yesterday, and I've got the EVIDENCE TO PROVE IT!!
Yes, my friends, make no mistake about it. The fix was in. I got a tip from some high level governmental and internationally renowned robotics and espionage experts that Ohio Late, knowing it lacked the brainpower and talent to win on the field, was going to do what it did best -- CHEAT!! So those guys hired out the best minds they could find in Ohio, then, finding none, went to other states and countries and designed a STEALTH MIND-READING, mind-controlling, LASER beam equipped, with Star Wars anti-ballistic pigskin technology, that could FLOAT IN THE FRIGGIN AIR, all designed for one purpose, to CHEAT against the MIGHTY IRISH and the Genius Robot, Choo Choo Charlie Weis.
Well, they succeeded, those duplicitous you-know-whats.
The first part of the plan involved covering up their evil tracks. They did this by having NSA-TRAINED PARATROOPERS SWOOP into the stadium, bringing with them PLUMES OF MIND ALTERING NERVE GAS, in the form of festively festooned flag and colored smoke, which BOUND THE MINDS OF ALL IN ATTENDANCE FROM SEEING THE EVIL FLYING ROBOT IN THEIR MIDST (except me, of course, as I never go out in public without my gas mask, for just such an emergency).
Well, the minds of the minions dulled to the reality surrounding them (the Yuck-Pie fans' minds really did not need any further dulling, but the NSA-Tressel conspirators took no chances) OUT CAME THE EVIL CREEPY MIND ALTERING FOOTBALL GUIDING FLYING ROBOT BEAST!!
This thing flew all over the field. It stole plays by reading the minds of ND players and radioed the plays to Ohio Late coaches. It used mind control over the referees to make them call HORRIFIC Calls against Notre Dame. They caused Notre Dame Defense Coordinator Rick "Nuclear" Minter to GO COMPLETE APE CRAZY with his defensive calls!! It repeated used Star Wars technology to make Brady Quinn's passes CURVE at the last second, make SURE HANDS Jeff S. miss!! It made Notre Dame offensive lineman miss assignments by creating HOLOGRAMS of Faux Defensive players, and blinded them to the actual players blitzing young Brady Quinn!! This is TRULY AWFUL!!
And what is truly saddening is that our GENIUS ROBOT coach, Choo Choo Charlie Weis, was recently given additional programming, during the Holidays, to increase his trust and faith in the inherent goodness of mankind. That is what is KILLING ME!! Two weeks ago, he would have planned for the CHEATING DEVIOUSNESS of the chuck thighs. But that to some good old fashioned Catholic code, HE TRUSTED THOSE SOBs not to engage in such MALICIOUSNESS!! We've been done in by THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!!
Oh, and in case you have ANY DOUBTS about what I have revealed, I have DEMONSTRATIVE, IRREFUTABLE VIDEO PROOF of the treachery. I will post it here. However, because the technology is SO FREAKING BLACK OPS SENSITIVE, I shall be forced to BURN MY BELONGINGS, ACID-OFF MY FINGERPRINTS, CHANGE MY IDENTITY and go WICKED UNDERGROUND as soon as these images hit the internet.
Thus, with what follows, I bid you all FAREWELL, that is, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN (and yes, Rove/Sparty, we SHALL meet again)....Poof.
Here is the first play of the game ... look closely in the lower right ... the EVIL DEVIOUS CHEATING MACHINE (note the proximity to the referee)!!
Here, I've Highlighted the MONSTROSITY!!
More evidence, on another play ... EXTREME CLOSE UP... of the evil one, not only stealing thoughts, not only wreaking havoc, but I do believe it is looking LUSTFULLY upon the backside of our Italian Stallion, Anthony F-You Fasano!! SICKENING!!
Here is the most frightening, and the most damning evidence of all ... Note the Evil Machine floating like a DEMONIC GHOST in the upper left hand corner, spying on the Notre Dame huddle, putting crazy thoughts into their minds, preparing its anti-pigskin laser to deflect Brady's sharp passes off their carefully plotted course, and all the while, the HEAD REFEREE IS BOWING DOWN AND PAYING SILENT HOMAGE TO HIS MACHINE MASTER
Sickening. Adieu. Until we meet again. Oh, and Sparty, the Velvet shall be mine. BUUUUUWHOOOOOWHOOOOOOHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!