Holy ^&%$^&&$ing $&%@$!!

I just got off the phone with Choo Choo Charlie Weis. The conversation went something like this:

MARCO: Hey, GBot!!
CW: CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
MARCO: What is the GOOOOD WORD??
CW: Well, I'm not allowed to talk about recruits. But I can tell you that I've signed FIVE new .... DECRUITS!! I can talk about DECRUITS!! .. and in a word, they are ..... FREAKING AWESOME!! Incredible combinations of SPEED, POWER, AGILITY and SMARTS!! These are BLUE CHIP DECRUITS!! UN-bloody-STOPPABLE!!
MARCO: Preach it my BROTHER GENIUS ROBOT!!
CW: Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that Pee Weet Peet Carol's last name is a GIRL's NAME!!
MARCO: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
CW: GBot ..... OUT!!

The Starting Lineup of our Next Opponent, the Nevada Fudge Pack

OFFENSE:

T 50 Mike “Bolshoi” Gallett

G 62 John Bender “over”

C 63 Kenneth “the Page” Ackerman

G 75 Chris “My Girlfriend’s a Real” Barker

T 73 Alonzo “Mosely” Durham

TE 85 Virgil “Mass” Green

Z 82 Tray-ning Session

X 14 Chris “Beef” Wellington

F 18 Brandon Wimberly “Stadium”

RB 34 Vai-"agra" Taua

QB 10 “Perforated” Colin Kaepernick

DEFENSE:
E 55 Dontay”ke my lunch money” Moch

T 90 Chris Slack”-er”

T 95 Nate “I’ll buy the letter “A”” Agaiava

E 99 Kevin “Lombardi Watch-List” Basped

SAM 52 James-Michael ”-Christopher-William-Edward-Steven-Peter” Johnson

MIKE 36 Mike “Football is confusing so they put me at a position the same as my name” Bethea

WOLF 33 Brandon “Penny” Marshall

CB 45 Antoine”-tte” Thompson

SS 25 Mo”-ooooooo” Harvey

FS 49 Jonathon “anapaestic trimester” Amaya

CB 32 Isaiah Frey”-D … to a CRISP … as in BURNT …. LIKE Elvis “Toast” Patterson”

The MARKETS have SPOKEN!!

Do you remember the flurry of Right-Wingnuts (like Rove, Hannipee, Lamebaugh) and the filthy rich told us to "trust the markets....they know best" when it comes to how a President is faring. Well, a little over four months into the Obama Administration, and the DJIA is UP....WAY UP ... up almost 500 points from the close on Inauguration Day!! At this pace, the DJIA will gain OVER 10,000 points in Obama's eight years in office -- getting us above 20,000 -- DOUBLING the value of the equities markets!! YIPPEE!!

And how did the Bush Administration do?? Ooops, HUGE, RECORD LOSSES!!

Perhaps the markets do know something!!

From the Marco Morning Squawk Box: BUY BUY BUY Notre Dame and OBAMA ADMINISTRATION FUTURES!!

All right, Spary-Puss. Now you have gone TOO FAR!!

I could handle the person attacks on me, following your treachery after the troubles. I could handle the rearranging of my furniture, the stealing of the velvet, the peanut butter incident, and even the constant surveillance. I even came to terms with how you broke Purdoo Pete's heart, and did so with glee.

But now you've gone TOO FAR!! Upon learning the Dick Vitale's daughter went to Notre Dame, you became so enraged that you RIPPED HIS FACE OFF!!




The poor bastard was left stammering, while miming the removal of a mask ..."Face .... OFF!! Face .... OFF!!" Then, with a horrible scream ... "AWFUL BABY!!" I'm a DEFACED DANDY@!!"

For this, my sausage-fingered-fiend, you will pay and pay DEARLY!!

Stunning!! GLORIOUS!! Obama!! Notre Dame!!

The intersection of Team Obama and Team Notre Dame occurred and it was .... GLORIOUS!! A NEW PATH of LOVE, RESPECT and JUSTICE has been laid by America's TWO SHINING LIGHTS .... OBAMA and NOTRE DAME.

And that new path will lead the Notre Dame football team to UTTERLY DEMOLISH, HUMILIATE AND DEPANTS all comers, including Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name) (except for the depants part, because Pee Wee Peet wears skirts), but we shall do it with love, respect and Justice as we BEAT THEM INTO THE GROUND!!

Republican-Created Davie-station GUARANTEES Notre Dame National CHAMPIONSHIP in 2009!!

ITEM: Two biggest Stock market crashes in the last 90 years, 1929 and 1987....BOTH followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY IN 1930 and 1988. Crash of 2008 GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Major Automaker (Studebaker) gets government loans to stay afloat in desperate times (1933) but finally gives up the ghost and declares bankruptcy about 30 years later in early 1966, followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in the Fall of 1966!! Loan guarantees to Chrysler to stay alive in the late 1970s followed by eventual bankruptcy of Chrysler 30 years later in early 2009 GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Most expensive war in American history at the time, WWII, saw an end and a withdrawal of American troops from former combat areas starting in 1945, followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 1946. In 2008, American announces a plan to withdrawal of troops from Iraq, the most expensive American war since WWII, from all Iraqi cities is to be completed by June 2009 and GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Last frightening PANDEMIC outbreak of the H1/N1 influenza virus starts in 1918 and PANIC sweeps the globe, but GLORY is about to sweep NOTRE DAME as the same year new Head Coach KNUTE ROCKNE starts his first season as ND coach, eventually leading us almost IMMEDIATELY TO NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 6 of his 13 seasons. 2009 sees the H1/N1 influenza outbreak turn into a GLOBAL PANIC, but fear not, because we have the next great NOTRE DAME head coach at the helm, with 4 years under his belt, Choo Choo Charlie Weis is destined to win NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 6 of the next 9 seasons, starting RIGHT NOW!!

ITEM: Though not directly related to Republican devastation, the last time a DEMOCRATIC President delivered the Commencement Address at Notre Dame's graduation only four months after inauguration: Jimmy Carter in May, 1977, which led IMMEDIATELY to NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in the Fall of 1977. Next up, PRESIDENT OBAMA to deliver a ROUSING Commence Address at Notre Dame's graduation, only four months after inauguration, in May 2009, which shall lead DIRECTLY and IMMEDIATELY to NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY!!

The Republican-caused DEVASTATION of the past few years has hurt the poor, the downtrodden, and true-blooded Americans. HOWEVER, in a crazy twist of fate, those WASPy Filthy Rich Fat Cats are HOIST ON THEIR OWN PETARD as their devastation has SEWN THE SEEDS for NOTRE DAME GLORY!!

Stone.

Holy COW!! It's like America's Greatest Hits are All Coming Back at Once!!

UNION POWER: On the RISE!! The Working Man is TAKING OVER THE MODES OF PRODUCTION!! Happy Days are here AGAIN!!

PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT EVERY DAY FOLKS BACK IN THE WHITE HOUSE: It's been quite a while since we had people in the executive branch who put the needs of the poorest among us above the hedonistic wants of the filthy rich.

SWINE FLU: Despite Republican efforts to rename it H1N1, or R2D2, or whatever, they cannot hide the return of SWINE POWER!!

NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL: We are BACK!! Notre Dame DOMINANCE will return, just like American DOMINANCE is returning!!

Karl Rove and his FILTHY FRIENDS stole BILLIONS of dollars thanks to Henry PAW-SOME, put American lives all over the world at risk with their TORTURE policies and WAR CRIMES, and turned Democratic-created budget SURPLUSES into RECORD DEFICITS, a bloody DEPRESSION and a slew of foreign policy disasters!! Thank GOD for OBAMA and the return of NOTRE DAME GLORY!!

USA #1!!
ND #1!!

Many have asked me lately, ...

How it was that Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name) was not able to successfully convince Mark Sanchez to stay at USC for his final year of eligibility??

Of course, we all know the story of how PWPC was able to convince Matt Lienert (Man Love Run Amok) but why didn't a similar campaign of man love work for Mark Sanchez?? Well, I've put my people ON IT, and we've got the answer.

Chapter 1: Love Blooms

Things started out well enough. It was Fall on the campus of USC, and reliving a tradition going back to the ancient Troy itself (or at least to Ed Ogeron), man's fancy turned to .... other men. Specifically, it was the Fall of 2008, and Pee Wee Peet Carol's fancy turned to his new quarterback, Mark Sanchez.

Now Peet was still reeling from losing the love of his life, Matt Lienert, to the NFL two years earlier. Although the torrid affair affair between Pee Wee Peet and Matt ended on a downer at the Rose Bowl in January 2006, Pee Wee Peet still loved Matt. How could anyone replace him??

Pee Wee thought he'd found the perfect replacement with John David Booty (to quote Pee Wee Peet "how could I go wrong with a guy named Booty??"), it just didn't pan out. Whether it was the two first names, his telegraphing of passes, or his dislike of morning spooning time, J.D. just wasn't the one. Heading into the Fall of 2008, Pee Wee was aching for a man to replace Matt. And Mark Sanchez proved to be an able suitor who blinked his eyes, oiled up his pecs and found his way into Pee Wee's heart.

The two fell into each other arms' and lives' like they were made for each other. Things were looking good for Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name). He'd found his man. He asked only one thing of Mark: "Mark, promise me, PROMISE ME, you'll never think of the NFL without me!!" Mark looked deep into Pee Wee Peet's eyes and said "Peet, you've got yourself a quarterback, a lover, and a DEAL!!" And they were so happy.



























































Chapter 2: Control goes to Out of Control

Things were going well in the Pee Wee Peet -- Mark Sanchez love affair. But as the season began to come to a close, Pee Wee knew the siren song of the NFL could try to woo his love interest away from him. It had happened before. So he decided to try a new tack: Mark was not allowed to leave the USC campus without Pee Wee with him, and even then, Mark was to be TIED DOWN with seatbelts that had confounding locks that NO USC STUDENT could undue:


Pee Wee also installed a series of skin electrodes, strategically placed on Mark S's body to detect any form of NFL-related thoughts in Matt's brain, and send immediate message to Pee Wee Peet's Facebook page in the form of a siren.



At first, Mark, being from Orange County, thought nothing of these restrictions. But as time went on, and seeing that Rey Rey and Cushing had no such restrictions, he began to wonder.


The Breakup

Well, some would say it was bound to happen. The band .38 Special put it best: "Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you squeeze too tightly, you're going to lose control." Mark began to question the seatbelts, the electrodes, the weird breathing on his phone. "I'm the quarterback of USC!!" Thoughts of the future began to creep in. He remembered the promise he made to Peet, but the temptations were there. Mark made it through the season. But after the Bowl game, ....


Then, one day in early January, while listening Liza and watching the Wizard of Oz, Peet Facebook page WENT OFF!!



"OMG" thought Peet. That's the alarm!! Mark is THINKING ABOUT THE NFL!! He PROMISED me he would NEVER think of the NFL without ME!! OMG!! OMG!!"

Peet put his pants on and RUSHED next door to Mark's room. "I KNOW you were just thinking of the NFL without ME!!" screamed Pee Wee Peet. You said you were just going to do your white paper for class" (as an aside, at USC, doing a "white paper" means finding a piece of white paper and turning it in as such, to show you can differentiate both objects (paper from say, a TV) and colors (white paper from say, purple paper) -- on the football team, 70% can successfully navigate the assignment (it would have been 80% except Cushing thought the professor said "white pooper" and ripped out a toilet from the wall and brought it to class)). But I know you were THINKING ABOUT THE NFL WITHOUT ME!!"

"No, I swear, Pee Wee, I wasn't NOT thinking about the NFL without you!! I would NEVER do that, I promised you!! begged Mark. But Peet would have none of it. His electrodes had caught Mark in the act. Pee Wee shouted "You're LYING!! My electrodes are FOOLPROOF!! You were thinking about the NFL!! We're THROUGH, you and I!!" Tears began welling up in Mark's eyes. "But, but, but, ..." he stammered. "Pet names won't help you now, Mark. You've hurt me, and now I'm going to hurt you." Veins bulged out of Peet's neck, as he was about to utter words that he knew he could never take back. "I still love Matt and I've been seeing him behind your back. In fact, the whole reason he's not a starter in the NFL is because by being a backup, he has more time to spend with me!!"

Mark was CRUSHED!! Matt was still his idol. To hear that Pee Wee had gone back to Matt and cheated on Mark with Matt was too much. Mark let out an Oregerian howl and began sobbing uncontrollably. He grabbed his white piece of paper and stormed out of the apartment.

"Good riddance," thought Peet. He never even thought to check the "MIND IMAGE" that the electrodes had created from Mark's brain that set off the siren.

The Public Finale

Well, we all know what happened next.

Pee Wee was STEAMING MAD at Mark:


Mark was FILLED WITH RAGE toward Pee Wee Peet:


Mark went to the NFL to spite Peet. Peet publicly took Mark to task. And of course, the BITTER, BITTER farewell:




It wasn't until weeks later, as Pee Wee Peet was sending love texts to Aaron, and missing the teenage duo Karffigian, that he saw that he never actually opened the "MIND IMAGE" that the electrodes had captured from Mark's Brain. The NFL thought that Mark had that sent off the sirens and caused the breakup. The image by which Mark had broken his promise never to think of the NFL without Peet. Peet took a deep breath, clicked on the image that ended his love affair with Mark. Upon seeing it, he recoiled in shame and horror. He fell back onto his waterbed and cried out at what he had seen:


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mark, Lane,Steve, Matt .... COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Blue and Gold Game has left the College Footbal World BLUE

knowing that the LEVIATHAN of the Northern Indiana Plains HAS RISEN, and has left we Irish Fans GOLDEN because because to be undefeated Notre Dame must have no L's, and when you take the L out of Gold you are left with GOD!! A Nostradamusesque Sign of NOTRE DAME GLORY on the way!! Take the L out of GLORY and you've got our Opposition after we're done with them ..... GORY!! Take the L out of our QB's name and he will be CAUSEN us to win a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!! We are an L-FREE ZONE, except for L McPhearson.

We're on the Road to Gory....Come on inside!!

GORY!!
GORY!!
GORY!!

Happy EASTER, EVERYONE!!

The LORD is Risen!!

And other good signs:

(1) Pirates are once again ON THE RUN, as AMERICAN MIGHT and RIGHTEOUSNESS (led by the Glorious Pres. Obama) has LAID DOWN THE LAW!!

(2) Greatest 14-day rise in the S&P 500 in SEVENTY FREAKING YEARS (once again led by Glorious Pres. Obama)

(3) The World, once again, LOVES AMERICA (thanks again to GPO)

(4) Notre Dame is talked about ALL OVER THE TV lately (thanks again, Fr. Jenkins and GPO)

(5) Notre Dame ticket applications are IN THE MAIL (GPO gets some credit as the US mails are handling the delivery and are under His auspices)

(6) Notre Dame 2009 Football Schedule has NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP written ALL OVER IT!!

(7) ALL REPORTS from Spring practice show .... the Irish HAVE RISEN!!

(8) The only thing the 2009 Notre Dame team is lacking .... is a WEAKNESS!!

(9) USC on the road ... to DESTRUCTION!!

(10) Goldfish (TM) crackers no longer using basketball shapes instead of FISH!!

STONE!!

FYI .... on the QT....

the head coach of a MAJOR high school football program (coached multiple state championships, a future Heisman Trophy winner and numerous All-Americans) attended a couple of Notre Dame practices last week and commented "Notre Dame's #1s are the best I've ever seen there. The Defense is fast and talented, and Frank Verducci brings great intensity to the O-Line. They aren't as deep at some positions as USC, but at most positions, the #1s look comparable."

Stone.

The Intersection of Obama and Notre Dame = GLORY!!

Of COURSE our "game changer" President Obama would choose to give his first elective commence address at the GREATEST University in America -- Notre Dame!!

and of COURSE our GLORIOUS Notre Dame would choose to invite as its commencement speaker the Greatest Political LEADER of our TIME ..... PRESIDENT OBAMA!!

It truly is a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN that shall lead to GLORY for ALL!!

G L O R Y!!

GOD....BLESS....OBAMA ... AND ..... WEIS!!

Obama is saving our nation, despite what can only be characterized as laughable attempts by the Republicans, on behalf of the Filth Rich, trying to derail his attempts to make this country better. Better.

Weis is saving Notre Dame football.

The early returns...are strong. The stock market .... UP RECORD AMOUNTS this week. Notre Dame recruiting....THE GREATEST THREE CONSECUTIVE CLASSES IN ND STORIED HISTORY!!

Both Russia and USC shall feel the PAIN of the return of Democrats and Choo Choo Charlie Weis .... TO POWER!!

God Bless Obama and Weis. And THANK GOD John McCain is left back to taking money from the rich but without power to do their bidding with banking regulators. If John McCain had been elected, you can BET THE FARM that Charles Keating and his ilk would be lining their pockets as before.

Stone.

I had a little blip over New Years

and during the NFL playoffs, and during the Super Bowl, the ups and downs of the MLB hot stove kept me seeking food refuge, and of course reruns of The West Wing on Bravo (and RHOC and Top Chef too) demand cheap wine and Goldfish [TM] crackers, and Valentines candies hit me hard, so as of right now, Notre Dame is on pace to score negative 24 TDs this season.

But now, the ides of February/March kick in, with no visible impediments at bar, NOW is when the Divinely ordered weight loss SHALL BEGIN!! I plan to be UNDER 280 by the start of MARCH MADNESS!!

Stone.

I have been told, again, that I must make amends to people I have harmed

So, to Pete Carroll, I'm sorry I've harmed you and I would like to make it up to you. Perhaps I could get on the phone with you when you call Joe McKnight. Or you I could accidentally bump into you as I leave the restroom and we could "chat" during a quiet period. Or I could show up with a $10,000 wristwatch, $5,000 diamond stud earring and a tricked out Impala, and you could pretend not to notice.....


[OK, OK --- sos (sponsor over shoulder)]

I am very sorry I've harmed you and if there is anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.

Regards,

Marco