Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Genius Robot Answer College Football World about Bowls

I received yet another HEATED email from loose cannon purportedly representing the "College Football World." Here it is:

"Marco: How DARE Notre Dame even consider a BCS bowl with two losses. There is a team from Oregon with only one loss who is more deserving. HOW DARE YOU??!!?? We in the college football world are entitled to answers and the truth to how ND can be considered for a BCS bowl?? Signed, The College Football World (p.s. Pee Wee Peet says his last name is spelled C-A-R-R-O-L-L, not C-A-R-O-L and is NOT a girl's name, and he also says that his height is within the AMA's range of 'normal'.")

I have grown weary of the hatred and jealousy of the college football world ("CFW") toward Notre Dame since the arrival of Choo Choo Charlie Weis, the Genius Robot Savior ("CCCWGRS"). As a result, I forwarded the missive from the CFW to CCCWGRS for response. CCCWGRS provided the following response, a call back to a bye-gone posting....

FROM: CHARLIE WEIS, GENIUS ROBOT
TO: COLLEGE FOOTBALL WORLD
RE: YOUR DEMAND FOR THE TRUTH re BOWLS


Dear College Football World:

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

We live in a world that has bowls. And those bowls have to be filled by teams with fans. Who's gonna do it?? You?? You, BCS Commissioner Weiberg?? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Oregon and you curse the Irish. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Oregon’s plight, while tragic, probably saved bowls. And ND’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves bowls

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at conference parties, you WANT me in that bowl. You NEED me in that bowl. We use words like honor, code, loyalty ... We use these words as the backbone to a century spent building something. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to men who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very bowls I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you build your own national following and get your own national TV contract. Either way, I don't give a DARN what you think you are entitled to!!

14 Comments:

At 8:46 AM , Blogger McJew said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:56 AM , Anonymous Jeff H. said...

"Did you order the direct snap to Darius?!?"
"YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!"

 
At 4:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

So this is what the inside of a BCS Bowl looks like.

 
At 5:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marco, this is my favorite site on the internet. I'll see you in Tempe!

 
At 8:36 PM , Blogger Chris said...

Brilliant!

 
At 11:23 PM , Anonymous jeff said...

i love it.

 
At 5:33 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

probably your best yet Marco...or should I say best yet from CCCWGRS...

 
At 7:02 AM , Anonymous dcaff said...

This is my most favorite scene from any movie - ever made. And you made it even better.Excellent.

 
At 8:19 AM , Blogger Hotbutteredelvis said...

too funny! I almost spit out my coffee!

Thanks, Marco

 
At 6:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marco,

Day in and day out, you impress.

What a mind! What creativity!

I don't know how many people communicate their feelings to you, but I can assure that you have a cult following among the hardcore ND fans that I know.

They tune in every day.

 
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