Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Robot Is Currently Searching His Databases To Determine What A Buckeye is.

Thus far, his computer brain is baffled, because he thought a buck was a male deer, and thus a buck eye must be a deer's eye, yet the Ohio State Mascot appears to be a giant, well, (in keeping with the season) it rhymes with "Jingleberry," walking around on the shoulders of an otherwise normal looking human. How could they eye of a peaceful creature be the nickname of a football team, and how could it be portayed is evidence of, ahem, poor hygene. Error codes are FLYING throughout the Genius' Robot brain. It does not compute. Rick "Nuclear" Minter keeps trying to refocus the Robot on identifying weaknesses in Ohio States offensive and defensive schemes, but the Robot is obsessed with the illogal mascot and nickname. At least we've got plenty of time to get him refocused. My fear, however, is that he's going to arrive at the Fiesta Bowl with a giant pair of surgical tweezers and a big dose of Preparation H, in which case, we really ought to warn Brutus to stay away from the ND side of the field.

On the intelligence gathering front, file this under "Sometimes, they never learn." As you will recall, my spies obtain pictographical evidence of Phil Phulmer attempting to hypnotize his players into believe that he too was a Robot, a la The Genius Robot, Choo Choo Charlie Weis. As you'll recall, he did this by assuming the ROBOT ATTACK POSITION, with faux robot arms and pincer claws raised above his head, and having those around him doing the same, to try to SCARE his charges into performing better, and to try to make them believe that he was just as good a robot as Choo Choo Charlie. Well, it failed Phil, as his Giblet persperation was a dead giveaway, and UT was run off the field in tears by the MIGHTY IRISH behind the pummelling of the Genius Robot.

Well, Jim Tressel did not learn a thing. He is trying to convince his charges that he is a robot, also by assuming the ROBOT ATTACK POSITION, and having those around him do the same. See the evidence obtained by my network of spies. NEWSFLASH: It work NOT work, Jimmy Boy. No one would EVER believe that a ROBOT would wear a GIRLY SWEATER VEST, expecially UNDER another jacket!! This is ROBOTICS, not CHESS!! Jeepers. These guys have NO CHANCE against the Irish (unless we can't get the Robot Genius to move past his fixation with the Deer-eye anomoly.


At 10:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rick "nuclear" Minter. LOL, too funny!


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