I have been working NONSTOP for the past 12 months, getting ready for the 2014 season.
I have analyzed our 2014 opponents, their depth charts, their expected recruits, potential new coaches and schemes. I have done the same for us, and run detailed models looking at every potential position by position match-up for each team, offense, defense, and special teams, including matrixes factoring in weather variables, motivation and potential prayer impacts.
The result of those models, with a miniscule sigma, along with the detailed objective bases for the predictions set forth in detail, are below:
RICE: We will be all over them like white on them. ND 77 Owls Wh00000
MICHIGAN: This one will be fun. ND 176 UM 0
Purdue: (LucasOil) Purdoo Pete weeps. ND 112 Purdon’t 0
@ Syracuse at the Meadowlands: After the ND Defense POUNDS Orangemen into the ground, as they are dug out, Jimmy Hoffa is unearthed. ND 85 Syr 0 AFL-CIO 1
STANFORD: David Shaw heard whistles on his last visit to ND. His team will be seeing little birdies this trip as they are KNOCKED OUT. ND 56 SU 0
NORTH CAROLINA: ND gives them the General Sherman treatment. ND 120 NC 0
@ Florida State: Tomahawk Chumps. Defending National Champions fall. ND 64 FSU 0
@ Navy. The Middies are tough, mean and ready. ND 110 Navy 0
@ Arizona State: ASU whined to get this game and even brought nuns into it. Be careful what you wish for. ND 77 ASU 0 (with a nun with eligibility in an ND uniform scoring the final ND TD)
NORTHWESTERN: Get thee to a compass. ND 150 NW 0
LOUISVILLE: Paul Horning takes the over. ND 89 Louisville 0
@ Southern Cal: GLORY. GLORY. GLORY. After knocking out one half of the Sarkiffin Teenage Twins, the Lads start the process of sending the other half to his room without dinner. ND 150 USC 0.
12-0 in 2014. Stone.