NDCHOOCHOO

Is this the GREATEST ND team in HISTORY??

2011-11-22T14:50:00.000-08:00

YESSSSSSSS!!

You've gotta love Tommy Ice and BKell!!

Te'o is Te'riffic!!

Michael F. is the greatest non-Barber Floyd in TELEVISION HISTORY!!

And GOD BLESS JONAS GRAY who GAVE HIS LEG for the LADS!!

GOD BLESS THE LADS!! DESTROY THE Hookah-smokers from "the Farm"!!

Stone.

Tommy Ice Gets it DONE and the Book of Kelly is a CLASSIC!!

2011-11-20T21:12:00.001-08:00

The Lads TOOK IT TO the Jebbies, leaving them crying and wimpering!! The Last good thing to come out of Boston was Paul Revere!!

God BLESS the Lads!! The EFFORT!! The PASSION!! The POWER!!

And BKell continues his ASSAULT on the ND Records books, passing the last two ND head coaches COMBINED with his SECOND win against Boston College!! No that is GETTING IT DONE!!

Next up: The Hookah-smoking America-haters from Stanford.

A dose of IRISH FAMINE PAIN will be dished out on "the Farm" after Thanksgiving!!

Stone.

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

2011-11-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

GOD BLESS BRIAN KELLY AND THE LADS!!

A quick comparison after 15 games:

Lou Holtz (1986-87): 13-10, zero bowl wins
Brian "the Book of" Kelly: 15-8, one bowl win/complete domination.

He is IN THE PANTHEON!!

And the lads!! THE LADS!! The heart!! The Determination!! The Gentleman Warrior Princeliness!! Ohhhhh MY!!

I think it is fair to say, objectively and conservative, that this group is THE GREATEST COMBINATION COACHES AND PLAYERS IN NOTRE DAME'S STORIED HISTORY!!

OHHHH, the Places we'll GO!!!!!!!

Glory.

Stone.

TOMMY ICE MAKES HIS LEGEND!! SO PROUD OF THE LADS!!`

2011-09-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

A Come-From-Behind Win .... FOR THE AGES!! And a F-You (that's Farewell to you) for Pitt from the Big East!!

So proud of the Lads!! And Tommy Ice .... DOES IT AGAIN!!

And BKell, "The Riverboat Gambler" Seals the Win by Rolling the DICE and hitting the JACKPOT ... Again. The Spot in the Pantheon .... IS SECURE!!

STONE.

On the way to 10-2 and even MORE GLORY!!

SO PROUD OF THE LADS!!

STONE!!

TIme for our annual POUNDING of PITT!!

2011-09-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's almost NOT FAIR!! Pitt will be playing "ketch-up" at Heinz Field all day long, and the red ocean on the field will not be catsup, but instead, cats-BLOOD as the Panther kitties will be BLEEDING UNCONTROLLABLY from the heinou BEATING at the hands of the gentle Irish Warrior Princes!!!

Oh the Horror!!

Oh the GLORY!!

The Mad Italian GENIUS Bobby DIACO and the CRAZY IRISH WIZARD BKell are an ethnic combination MADE IN HEAVEN. And with the full support of God, they will INFLICT MAXIMUM PAIN ON ALL HEATHENS, but in a loving way.

STONE!!

PUT ... IT .... IN ..... STONE .... The Irish will NOT LOSE AGAIN!!

2011-09-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

Spart-A-Wuss is JUST what the Doctor ordered!!

We shall FEAST on the SAUSAGE FINGERS while the soothing comfort of VELVET shall caress our BODIES!!

STONE!!

PANTHEON...SECURED!!

2011-01-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

Who is the ONLY Head Coach in Notre Dame's storied history to win a bowl game in his first season??

The one and only BKell .... BRIAN KELLY!!

Put him at the HEAD of the PANTHEONIC HALL OF FAME!!

Greatest Coach in NOTRE DAME HISTORY!!

Stone.

GREATEST BOWL IN IN NOTRE DAME HISTORY

2010-12-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

B Kell is IN THE PANTHEON!!

In his first season, he lead the Lads to FOUR CONSECUTIVE WINS to end the season, the first time that has happened ... IN 18 YEARS!!

GOD BLESS B. KELL!!

GOD BLESS THE LADS!!

There is a LEVIATHAN building on the Northern Indiana plain, and it just ate a HURRICANE as it swept across the snow-dusted hills of West Texas. Believe me when I say this ... THE REST OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL WORLD is VERY nervous!! Even wonderkund MusChump at UFG is trying to snag some Irish magic in a bottle!! But only THE LADS have it!!

G L O R Y!!

ESPN ... PREVIEW ... Notre Dame - Miami MATCHUP!!

2010-12-27T20:58:00.000-08:00

HOT OFF THE PRESSESS!!

GLORY!!

Call it the JOHN HANCOCK Bowl, because that was a SIGNATURE WIN ... FOR THE AGES!!

2010-11-13T15:17:00.001-08:00

Quite simply .... THE GREATEST WIN IN THE HISTORY OF THE PROGRAM!! Tears are STREAMING DOWN MY FACE with JOY for the SENIORS and the COACHING STAFF and the entire TEAM!! SO PROUD OF THE LADS!!

Bobby "The Brain" Diaco DIALED UP the SWARMING DEFENSE and the players CUT IT LOOSE so that Utah scored fewer points than the number of wives some Utah residents will score with tonight!! A measley field goal from the team rated #5just seven days ago!! Are you KIDDING ME?? Prince Shembo has been promoted ... TO KING!! Man-ti is now GOD-WIN!! Ethan Johnson ... a BEAST!! Jamorous Slaughter ... SLEW the UTES!! Harrison Smith delivered HIGHWAY ROBBERY -- What a PICK!! Gary Gray, I dub the CASTAWAY because you are a MAN ON AN ISLAND ... SHUTDOWN CORNER!! Even Schwenke brought a little KONA!! And who isn't happy for BRIAN "The Hammer" Smith -- whose day started with tears of joy and sadness while arm and arm with his emotional and understanding pops and ended with tears of just JOY while arm and arm with his happy few, his Band of Brothers!! DOMINATING DEFENSE!!

And how about young "Touchdown" Tommy Rees??!!?? Every time they flashed the Chewing Gum/Curious George poster we DELIVERED THE GOODS!! SEVEN TD passess in SEVEN Quarters?? Are you KIDDING ME?? And "Sheriff" Lo Wood -- BRINGING THE THUNDER!! The Offensive LINE .... STUD!! You simply CANNOT STOP THE LADS!! KUDOS to KAMARA who DANCED in the END ZONE ... for JOY!! GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!! B-Kell BROUGHT IT today!!

And DO NOT forget those special teams. Robert Blanton could have snagged that ball from the punter's DROP if he wanted to ... but he thought the TWAP, scoop and score was WAY COOLER (and I wholeheartedly AGREE!!) And Austin "see what you hit" Collingworth PUT IT ON THE BALL!! And who wasn't SOBBING LIKE A BABY ON A BAD DAY FOR THAT BABY during the halftime story on young Mr. Ruffer??

The LADS PUT THE LUMBER to the team one week removed from the #5 spot in the land -- with a BULLET!! If you beat the team one week removed from #5 by 25 (going away I might add, with our foot off the proverbial gas), we could DEFINITELY beat Auburn, Oregon or David Boies State by at least 14. Oh, I did I mention the Lads did it without their #1 QB. Without their #1 Running Back. Without their #1 Tight End. Without their #2 WR? Without their #2 leading tackler and starting Linebacker?? INCREDIBLE!!

PUT THE LADS IN THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME -- THEY HAVE EARNED IT!!

And I'd say put B Kell in the PANTHEON .... But he is ALREADY THERE!! The ONLY Coach in ND's storied history to ever beat Utah (only 7 days from their being ranked #5).

There is a LEVIATHAN growing on the Northern Indiana plains. And the rest of the college football world is SHAKING WITH FEAR!!

GREATEST WIN IN OUR HISTORY!!

GREATEST TEAM IN OUR HISTORY!!

S T O N E !!

I LOVE what Utah has brought to the AMERICA TABLEAU!!

2010-11-08T17:40:00.001-08:00

1. Polygamy. Though it sounds good in theory, I think in practice, the nagging would be too much to take.

2. Salt. Lake. City. You take three things that have nothing in common -- Salt, a tasty compound; Lake, a soothing body of water; and City, an exciting congregation of people and energy -- and no booze for miles, and you've got a recipe for Bacchanalian Fun!!

3. Synonymous with Jazz.

4. Easy to both spell and read.

5. I thinks that's it.

Put this .... IN STONE: The Mighty Irish will NOT lose again this season!!

2010-11-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

We are now rested, rejuvinated and RESTORED!!

BKell has the plan ... the plan is now FULLY installed, and we are now have NO WEAKNESS!!

Combined Score of the next three games:

Gentlemen Warrior Princes: 342
Ute-Cadet-ToeJams: 0

I guarantee it and stake my ENTIRE reputation on it.

So Proud of the LADS!! The FIght never left the Fighting IRISH today!!

2010-10-30T21:55:00.001-07:00

They WILL WIN OUT and take it to a Bowl opponent, garnering 8 wins for the first time in FOUR YEARS!!

There is a LEVIATHAN building on the Northern Indiana plains ... and the college football world is SHAKING WITH FEAR!!

Stone.

I held a mirror up to TULSA, and in a moment of self-awareness, she exclaimed: "My Goodness, I see A SLUT!!"

2010-10-25T23:14:00.001-07:00

ND 120
Tulsa 0

It is best not to bring the Lads to anger.

Stone.

MARK IT DOWN: ND will NOT LOSE from here to eternity.

2010-10-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

2010: 9-4

2010: 13-0

2012: 12-0 (no bowl game because of 12-21-12 end of times)

Stone.

I LOVE the LADS!!

2010-10-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

Our Armed Services have recently been hit with a SHOT to their confidence .... Can we still FIGHT EFFECTIVELY with GAYS in our midst?? Will it subvert unit cohesion??

Well, the Lads and Pantheonic Brian Kelly decided to take one for our NATIONAL team and LAY DOWN at the feet of the Seamen to effectively say: YES YOU CAN!! Even with the Gays, you can DOMINATE YOUR ENEMIES, American Servicemen and Servicewomen!!

Now THAT is sacrifice!!

And to Navy, with the gays, .... YES YOU CAN!!

STONE!!

GREATEST .... WIN .... IN .... NOTRE .... DAME ..... HISTORY!!

2010-10-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Complete and UTTER domination!! Everything is coming together!! NO WEAKNESS!! BKell has the GREATEST record against the MAC in NOTRE DAME HISTORY!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

Coach Kelly is on the VERGE of HISTORY!!

2010-10-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

In the storied 120 plus years of play in Notre Dame's storied history, only FOUR coaches were able to do the ULTIMATE TURNAROUND ... that is, in the same season, secure 3 straight wins after suffering 3 straight losses.

And what is perhaps most surprising is which coaches in the Pantheon were NOT able to pull off the ULTIMATE TURNAROUND. Ara couldn't manage such a feat. Nor could Coach Holtz. Coach Leahy, despite is growing up a true "Winner," couldn't do it. Neither could the great Knute Rockne.

No, only Joe Kuharich, Gerry Faust, Tyrone Willingham and, the mighty B-1 Bob Davie -- who remarkably did it twice -- could muster the courage, strength and coaching skill to do it.

And BKell is on the verge. A win this week against Denver and the circle is complete. A TURNAROUND for the AGES!!

GO GET 'EM, BOYS!!

I understand that this week, the Mighty Irish will take on the Broncos.

2010-10-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

All I can say is .... ITS' ABOUT FREAKING TIME!!

Do we have NFL-level talent?? CHECK!!
Do we have NFL-level coaching?? CHECK!!
Do we have NFL-level mascot?? CHECK!!

So it is about TIME we joined a conference .... the AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!

Bring it on, Elway!! After Saturday, they will be calling you NOWAY!!
Haven Moses?? MEET NUMBER 1 MOSES!!

ND 93 Broncos 0

Put it ... IN STONE!!

The PANTHEON is now painted KELLY GREEN!!

2010-10-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

He's a RIVERBOAT GAMBLER on a STREAK FOR THE AGES!!

I LOVE the radomness of breaking out the PINK PARAPHENALIA on the Lads which threw Wanny and pittsters for a LOOP!! It TOTALLY drained their aggressiveness!! It made them feel all lovey-dovey pinkish which is TOTALLY the WRONG mindset for a football game. Dare I say .... GENIUS!!

SO proud of the Lads!! They NEVER GIVE UP!!

Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.

2010-10-05T18:51:00.001-07:00

Put BKell in .... THE PANTHEON!!

2010-10-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

NO HEAD COACH in the STORIED HISTORY of Notre Dame has a greater winning percentage against Boston College than Beantown Brian!!

He has TAKEN DOWN the Jebbies!!

Put him in ... THE PANTHEON!!

Uh oh. Jenny HairBow hasn't been getting enough fiber in her diet.

2010-09-21T22:17:00.001-07:00

Jenny, just relax, it will come.

No. Relax.

You call that relaxing?? Come on, try again.

Dude, who taught you how to relax??

Ahh, that explains it. Well, just remember, the harder you push, the worse it gets.

Yikes. Does it hurt??

Wow. I'll take you at your word.

OK. OK. Let's try a new tack. How about trying to suck it back in??

No go, huh?? Well it was worth a try.

I guess that leaves only one option. It is drastic but I don't see any alternative. Thank Goodness for that Kinesiology degree, because otherwise I wouldn't think what you're about to do is humanly possible. But you said you've got it up there before. I can't bear to watch ... all I can say is ... WOLVERINES!!

So Proud of the Lads, Part Two: The Wrath of Kell

2010-09-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

With each passing game, I LOVE THESE LADS EVEN MORE!! The GUTS!! The NEVER SAY DIE attitude!! The TOUGHNESS!!

And B-Kell is a RIVERBOAT GAMBLER with ICEWATER in his VEINS!!

Undoubtedly, the BEST 1-2 team not just in the country, but in the WORLD!!

GLORY!!

GLORY!!

G L O R Y !!

We are BACK TOGETHER!!

2010-09-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

Years of bad blood are behind us!! We have patched things up and are better than EVER!!

It's like how we were during the Troubles!! BFFs!!

God Bless Sparty and his Sausage Fingers!! Get a shave, you big lug!!

Let-S-PARTY!!

SO PROUD OF THE LADS!!

2010-09-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

The HEART!!

The EFFORT!!

The LOVE!!

I LOVE this TEAM!!

These Lads NEVER QUIT and these Coaches BRING IT FOR 60!!

Who's your friend?? TEAMMATE!!

GLORY!!

CRIST is RISEN!!

2010-09-11T14:52:00.001-07:00

He was BLIND but now can SEE!!

GLORY!!

Holy COW!! Rich Rodriguez just said he is going to SHRED Bibles this Saturday to protest his upcoming loss to Notre Dame.

2010-09-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Apparently Coach Rodriguez has a high-powered shredder and shredding is more eco-friendly than burning. He had apparently just begun an initiative in West Virginia to shred couches after big wins instead of burning them, but signed on with Michigan before it could really take off. Apparently the shred session is also mandatory for players.

After the past few years, we must be circumspect in our post-game analysis, particularly early in the season.

2010-09-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

Therefore, I take great pains to perhaps overemphasize potential negatives and downplay the positives from the start of the Brian Kelly Era at Notre Dame. I have reviewed the tape and in some cases, yellowing newspaper clippings and box scores, as well as verbal histories provided by witnesses, and compared each player, position by position, overall schemes, execution, play-calling and intangibles of this first game versus each Notre Dame team over the past roughly 125 years of Notre Dame football, and make the following conservative notes:

2010 ND Offense: GREATEST IN THE STORIED HISTORY OF NOTRE DAME!!

2010 ND Defense: GREATEST IN THE STORIED HISTORY OF NOTRE DAME!!

2010 ND Special Teams: GREATEST IN THE STORIED HISTORY OF NOTRE DAME!!

ND National Championship in 2010 .... GUARANTEED!!

Put it ... In Stone.

Kelly is in ... THE PANTHEON!!

Let the Book of Kelly Era begin ..... IN GLORY!!

2010-09-03T14:07:00.001-07:00

The Book of Kells = The Gospel According to BRIAN = TOUCHDOWNS BY THE BOATLOAD!!

You gotta love a guy who REPUDIATED Boston for Michigan, then REPUDIATED Michigan for Ohio, the REPUDIATED Ohio for the Greatness of Notre Dame!!

In the parting words of B Kell to me just the other day: May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God SMOTE PURDUE with in the back of his hand.”

Stone.

I LOVE how Capt'n Jack said to himself "I'm going to bag me the COACH OF THE YEAR"...

2009-12-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

and then had the STONES to wait until 30 minutes after B-Kell was awarded the Coach of the Year Honor to UNLEASH HEAVEN upon us by announcing the hiring.

PURE FREAKING GENIUS, Captain Jack!!

And WELCOME ABOARD, B-KELL!! We're looking forward to watchin ya lead the Lads, Boy-oh!!

What can you say except .... GLORY!!

2009-12-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

And Brian Kelly rescrambled is BLARNEY ILK!! (or Kill Barney, or Blink Early)

and to rescramble next season: 2 0 1 0 = 12-0-0!!

STONE!!

Congratulations GOLDEN TATE.... ALL-AMERICAN!!

2009-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

First AFCA All-American from Notre Dame on Offense since 1993 .... ending a SIXTEEN YEAR DROUGHT!! NEVER doubt the LADS!!

GLORY!!

What I love most about our incoming new coach is

2009-12-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

his FIRE!!

He's got that DRIVE that is INFECTIOUS, like H1N1, call it NDNo.1, that will lead us .... TO GLORY!!

Captain Jack is playing chess and everyone else is playing checkers

2009-12-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
Tired of livin' in your one horse town
Like to find out where some GLORY abounds
For a while

So you turn on ESPN and eat refried beans
And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens
It's like some silly recruiting magazine
And you smile

Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your National Championship
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Take the ND job and you'll be smilin'

Your AD's gone out, ain't that great
You just sit around and ruminate
The phone is gonna ring soon but you just can't wait
For that call

So you sit on the couch in your Nike clothes
And you look so polished from your visor to your toes
But still your finger's gonna flip off Corso
After all

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your National Championship
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Tane the ND job 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you decide to take a bowl holiday
You got your bowl ring and your brand new Chevrolet
Ah but there's no teams to play anyway
And what for...

You've got everything, but nothing's cool
They've just found your QB in a betting pool
And you guess you won't be going back to that school
Anymore...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your National Championship
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Take that ND job 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you watch your gamefilm and you do your squats
And you meet your AD in the parking lot
Oh, but still you're aching for the things you have not got
What went wrong...

And if you can't understand why your world is so dead
And why you've got to keep boosters in style and overfed
Well, ND hasn't hired a great coach since Father Ted
And that's too long...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your National Championship
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Take the ND job 'n' you'll be smilin'
Yeah, Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Yeah, Captain Jack will get you by tonight

I am SO happy right now that I just invited Pee Wee Peet Carol to meet me behind the old Chevron Station in Hermosa ...

2009-11-29T20:28:00.001-08:00

for free hugs!!

And I don't even care that his last name is a girl's name!!

Stone.

I am IN LOVE with our future!!

2009-11-29T14:10:00.000-08:00

I would like to take our future out to dinner, a movie, some ice cream and coffee and then HAVE MY WAY with our future back at the compound!!

I'd like 100,000 marbles please, AND A FREAKIN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN JANUARY 2011!!

This is gonna be ..... GREAT!!

My Friends..... HERE .... COMES ....

2009-11-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

THE GLORY!!

A HOME RUN!! A TRUE "MOON SHOT" from just up the road from where Eddie and some friends of ours got it all started!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

The Media Roll-out is being planned AS WE SPEAK!!

2009-11-27T19:17:00.001-08:00

It differ from past transition in many key aspects.

It will be GLORIOUS!!

This remains true today....

2009-11-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

DESTROY THE HOOKAH-BAR FREAKS IN A CHRISTIAN MANNER!!

The LEVIATHAN is AWAKENING on the Northern Indiana Plains...

2009-11-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

and the rest of the college football world SHUDDERS IN FEAR!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

I am WEEPING WITH JOY at the thought of it.

Notre Dame will not lose FOR THE NEXT DECADE!!

Put that IN STONE!! I guarantee it and stake my ENTIRE REPUTATION ON IT!!

And it will start with the UTTER DOMINATION of the Hookah Bar patronizing, GLEE-loving PANZIES at StanTURD!!

What is my deal?? YOUR DESTRUCTION, you robber-baroned-financed NANCY BOYS!!

NOTRE DAME 113 Stanturd... WEEPING

I am breaking out the FOUR year old Nyquil (still with Psuedo-Ephedrine) for this Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-25T13:23:00.000-08:00

We have LOTS to give Thanks for this year!!

Great things really do come from MALLS!!

The Friends of Ours came THROUGH!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

I know have MULTIPLE SOURCE CONFIRMATION!!

2009-11-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

It is a HOME RUN -- a "MOON" SHOT!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

I will disclose the following...

2009-11-21T19:02:00.001-08:00

1. The DEAL is done.

2. It WILL be better.

3. I LOVE the LADS.

4. 2011 = NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

5. God. Bless. Eddie and gifts He has bequeathed to all friends of ours.

S T O N E!!

Consummatum est

2009-11-14T23:38:00.001-08:00

Glory!! Never Doubt the LADS!!

2009-11-14T21:31:00.001-08:00

What a comeback!!

Does anyone doubt that but for a corrupt decision we would have converted on 4th and 16?? Golden Tate anyone??

I count this as a WIN!!

One more... FOR the PANTHEON!!

The HEART!! The GUTS!! The MOXY!!

These LADS are GLORIOUS!!

Notre Dame is Beautiful

2009-11-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

...and the Lads will DOMINATE Pitt!!

I LOVE this time of year....and I LOVE THE LADS. And I'm not ashamed to say it. And I'm not ashamed to say I like DUran Duran.

It is on the move AS WE SPEAK...

2009-11-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

to Pittsburgh. Getting things set up for the game next week, or ..... something else??

SO PROUD OF THE LADS!!

2009-11-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

These guys NEVER QUIT!! DO NOT EVER COUNT OUT THE LADS!!

JOINT CLAUSEN/TATE/FLOYD shared Heisman

Otherwise, a GLORIOUS performance, and I am checking the record-books, but in terms of the Pantheon, so far it appears that Coach Weis is the first coach in NOTRE DAME's STORIED HISTORY to ever lead his team to a RECOVERED on-sdie POST-SAFETY free kick!!

GLory shall be OURS!!

I love our Armed Service Men and Women, but I have to say, the Midshipmen

2009-11-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

are heading into an IRISH BUZZSAW!!

Navy's sailors deserve great respect. They go all out for 60 minutes and never give up.

We can expect that the will TRIPLE TEAM Rudolph, meaning that OUR ENDS will be COVERED WITH SEAMEN!!

We can expect them to bring heavy pressure on our QB, meaning that CLAUSEN will have SEAMEN IN HIS FACE ALL DAY LONG!!

However, our Fourth Quarter showing against USC defense has given us incredible confidence, so the BURSTING OF THE TROJANS means the field will be LITTERED WITH SPENT SEAMEN!!

We love Navy. But Midshipmen simply won't cut it against the Irish. Even the Topshipmen won't get it done.

ND 69 Navy 6 Russia 0

Stone.

As Proof of what a HUUUUUUUGE, signature win this BC win was....

2009-10-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

This is the FIRST TIME that a Choo Choo Charlie Weis-led Notre Dame team beat an opponent who (1) had a better record than ND at the start of the game, (2) had at least 5 wins at the time of the game, and (3) was at least 3 games over .500 at the start of the game!!

Let me say that again: This is the FIRST TIME that a Choo Choo Charlie Weis-led Notre Dame team beat an opponent who (1) had a better record than ND at the start of the game, (2) had at least 5 wins at the time of the game, and (3) was at least 3 games over .500 at the start of the game!!

Now THAT is beyond "discernable progress," that is pure domination.

For the third time in two calendar years, Notre Dame beat a regular-season opponent who had a better record. The Lads are ON FIRE on the road to what would be C-Dub's FOURTH BCS Bowl berth -- THREE TIMES more than any prior Notre Dame head football coach.

He is indeed, in the PANTHEON!!

Tears of JOY are STREAMING down my face!!

2009-10-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

NEVER DOUBT THE LADS!!

The lads have ICEWATER in their veins and the GBot has a HEAVY DOSE OF MICROELECTRONIC COOLANT!!

The Streak is .... OVER!!

We took on a TOUGH team who coming into the game had a better record than us and WOODSHEDDED THEM!!

Charlie Weis is ... IN THE PANTHEON (but we still need to fix the silicon leak)!!

This is going to be the most enjoyable Notre Dame football season EVER!!

The Cardiac Kids just let the other team stick around and then RIP THEIR COLLECTIVE HEARTS OUT (in a Christian fashion).

We are on the way to the BCS!!

Our first BCS Bowl of the year, as be do the Boston College STOMP!!

2009-10-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

BC S-tinks!!

ND 515 BC o

STONE!!

SO PROUD of the LADS!!

2009-10-17T22:56:00.000-07:00

NEVER DOUBT THE LADS!!

The playcalling by the G-Bot was OFF THE HOOK!!

USC defense had given an average of 8 points per game against the likes of former Top 10 teams Ohio State and Cal and the lads hung 27 on 'em!! USC had given up only 3 TDs in 5 games and we nearly had 3 in just the FOURTH QUARTER!! A LEVIATHAN is building on the Northern Indiana Plains and the College Football World..... IS SHAKIN!!

ND's offense=UNSTOPPABLE!!

11-2....BCS Bowl win on the HORIZON!!

Put it .... IN STONE!!

GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!! the SMACKDOWN COMETH!!

2009-10-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

USC is going DOWN!!

They are TERRIFIED in Los Angeles. I repeat....TERRIFIED!!

They have looked at the tape and declared .... "we can't beat the Irish."

Pee Wee Peet has already declared that the first order of business is to find a comfy spot on the lockerroom carpet for post-game consolation spooning with Barkley.

Stone.

I am willing to PUT IT ON THE LINE!!

2009-10-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

After careful study, analysis and consideration, I am willing to proffer the following:

Without condition, restriction or limitation, I GUARANTEE a Notre Dame win on Saturday of USC.

That is a 100% Guarantee.

Not only to I guarantee a win, I guarantee that Notre Dame will win by FOUR TOUCHDOWNS!!

And lastly, I guarantee that Pee Wee Peet Carol, whose last name is a girl's name, will utter the following: "Now I finally see why I failed at New England and why Choo Choo Charlie Weis was able to lead those Patriot offenses to 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, a coaching resume that makes mine look like that of a Pee Wee coach, and considering I am so little, Pee Wee is an apt prefix for my name, and whilst on the subject, I shouls also confirm internet rumors that yes, indeed, my last name is in fact a girl's name. Now please excuse me because I must now spoon with Barkley on the lockkerroom floor and then I still have to deal with the earful I'm sure to get from Mustain's mom."

I have now had an opportunity to review game tape/clippings of every Notre Dame game ever played...

2009-10-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

and having run the numbers and considered the intangibles, it is clear that today's win over Washington was quite simply ....

THE GREATEST WIN IN NOTRE DAME HISTORY!!

Choo Choo Charlie Weis has added to his PANTHEONIC resume. On the day Rockne's statue was unveiled, the GBot's greatness was unveiled for all to see. To honor both, I think I may remove the muu' muu in front of the window for my own homagic unveiling.

Stone.

NEVER DOUBT THE LADS, PART II: THE WRATH OF TATE!!

2009-10-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THIS TEAM!!

Are you KIDDING ME??!!??

The heart!!

The desire!!

The FIRE!!

We are on the Road to NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY!!

Put it IN STONE!!

Get that Weis Statue ready .... STAT!!

NEVER DOUBT THE LADS!!

2009-09-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

And NEVER doubt Choo Choo Charlie Weis!! HE now OWNS the PURDUE GIANT TRAIN WHISTLE!!

CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Another Fourth Quarter Comeback for Jimmy "Heisman" Clausen!!

Boiler up a pot of POTATOES!!

The Irish are COMING TO DINNER...and they're serving NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP PIE!!

Stone!!

Put CDub in the FRIGGIN PANTHEON!!

2009-09-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

check that. He is ALREADY IN the Pantheon of the GREATEST NOTRE DAME COACHES IN OUR FRIGGIN HISTORY!!

Are you kidding me??

Can you name the Notre Dame head football coaches who have won AT LEAST three games in September FOUR TIMEs??

Tick...Tock...Tick....Tock.

The list is short.

It does NOT contain the names Davie, Willingham, Faust, Kuharich, or Brennan.

It does NOT contain the name Leahy.

It does NOT cotanin the name Parseghian.

It does NOT (G A S P !!) contain the name Rockne.

The Notre Dame coaches who have won at least three games in the month of September in at LEASt four different seasons contains only two names....

Holtz.

Weis.

He is IN STONE.

HE is IN THE PANTHEON.

Choo Choo Charlie Weis has led us....TO GLORY!!

300 Spartans were attacked by thousands of Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae. The Spartans fought valiantly and their story of bravery now legend.

2009-09-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

2500 years later, a dozen Spartans were attacked by a single Irishman at the battle of Flugelhorn. The Spartans screamed like little girls with the faces fixed in horror. Their story is now one of legendary wussines.

Spartawuss, you're youth martial training methods need retooling.

Teeheeeheee.

Glory!! Glory!! I call today's win the John Hancock Bowl

2009-09-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

because it was truly a SIGNATURE WIN!!

This team NEVER GIVES UP!! Glory!! If you get them down, they will NEVER SURRENDER!!

Oh, and how about this quarterback stat line:

14 TDs, 1,357 yards passing, and a 72% completion percentage.

Those sound like numbers of one the greatest seasons an ND QB has ever had.

Except those are the numbers for Jimmy the C ... FOR JUST THE LAST FOUR GAMES!!

Are you KIDDING ME??!!??

Bring your workout gear, because we're all gonna party at the DOWNTOWN ATHLETIC CLUB in December!! Yippee!!

Put it .... IN STONE

2009-09-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

ND 98 MSU 0 (3d quarter forfeit by MSU after Jimmy the C hangs 14 TD passes on them)

revenge is a dish best served .... WITH LOTS OF FREAKING TOUCHDOWNS!!

oH, AND PS: JIMMY FOR HEISMAN?? Fahgettabotit!! JIMMY FOR PRESIDENT!! (I would propose Choo Choo Charlie for President but Article One Section One seems to (inappropriately in my view) prohibit robotic Presidents).

Stone.

Spart-a-Wuss has fallen on some hard times...

2009-09-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

Growing up in a martial culture and investing heavily on the wrong side of credit default swaps will do that to you.

Boated red sausage fingered fiend.

i want to tell my dear friends something....

2009-09-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

I love you all. And Choo Choo Charlie loves you too.

I have NO DOUBT that the Lads will RUN THE TABLE

2009-09-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

and play for the National Championship!!

Put it IN STONE!!

You read it HERE FIRST!!

These lads have NO QUIT in them!!

I LOVE TEAM!!

ATTENTION to Stupid MSU fans... Sparty is NOT EMPOWERED TO JOIN MAN AND WOMAN IN HOLY MATRIMONY!!

2009-09-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

Ths sausage Fingers should be your first clue...

I LOVE this Notre Dame TEAM!!

2009-09-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

They NEVER Give up!!

The offense is UNSTOPPABLE!!

The defense is UNBLOCKABLE!!

Now, from St. Elmo's Fire, I learned the following:

1) I have conceived Choo Choo Charlie Weis as the Perfect Robot Genius Coach in my mind!!

2) Having so conceived Choo Choo Charlie, in order to be a truly Perfect Genius Robot Coach, he must exist, and he must have ALLOWED Notre Dame to "lose"

THEREFOR: This "loss" is in reality a "big picture" WIN!! One that we mere humans simply CANNOT FULLY FATHOM!!

It's right out of Rocky III!!

I'm beginning to see the STRATEGY NOW!!

STONE!!

Beware....Michigan is a FORMIDABLE FOE!!

2009-09-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

Forcier has Strong Blood Lines, is quick and professional scouts consider him a pro prospect, albeit it baseball.

Michigan has speed at all positions, some "big uglies" on the lines and defenders who SWARM to the ball.

In NFL Today Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder category of "intangibles," Michigan has the "us against the world" fires burning their intensity level to 11.

The Big House will be PACKED and the color bright yellow is very intimidating (which is why yellow is the color of "caution" on streetlights and in snow.

And do not underestimate Coach Rodriguez, who will will covered under Pres. Obama's healthcare plan, which enables him to take incredible risks to his physical well-being, making him Dangerous like Logan, the original Wolverine.

All this must be taken into account in any prognostication.

Therefore....

Notre Dame 89 Michigan 0

Stone.

Ted Kennedy sent me a letter just before he died...

2009-09-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

He told me: "Marco, Well, the doctors tell me the End is near (and no, I'm not talking about Hillary walking in front of me). I had a great life. I have served my country on many levels, and sought to improve the lot of the least among us, and quite frankly, that means you. When I have fought for the downtrodden, pathetic, disgusting, pocks-riddled, stinky, overweight and undereducated great unwashed, I have always thought of you. You, in your glorious disgustingness, have been my 400 lb muse. Your rolls of fat under your muu'muu were like sweet backlava, nourishing me through it all."

"I am sending you this note from my deathbed, and ask that you deliver it on my death on The Choo Choo. It sets forth what I really hope the future will hold, and my greatest prayers for our country. I am telling you that this will be the year of Notre Dame," "the great unfinished business of our society" he called it, a Notre Dame National Championship. He repeated the truth that "Notre Dame is decisive for our future prosperity," but he also reminded me that "it concerns more than material things." "What we face," he wrote, "is above all a moral issue. At stake are not just the details of Sunday polls, but fundamental principles of football justice, and the character of college football." I've thought about the phrase quite a bit in recent days, "the character of college football." One of the unique and wonderful thing about Notre Dame has always been our self-reliance, our rugged individualism, our fierce defense of the quarterback, and our healthy skepticism of the NCAA, and figuring out the appropriate size and scope of the NCAA has always been a source of rigorous and sometimes angry debate. That's Notre Dame's history. For some, Ted Kennedy's brand of love for Notre Dame represented an affront to college football. In their mind, his passion for the Irish was nothing more than a passion for the Papacy. But those of us who knew Teddy, and stalked him, here, knows something more. His friend Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name) knows that. They worked together to score with chicks at various Hollywood clubs. His friend Joe Paterno knows that. They worked together looking like they were actually working at high profile jobs when in fact they napped most afternoons. His friend Urban Meyer knows that. They both had to fight off the unwanted advances of Shelley Meyer at the Palm Beach compound. On issues like thses, the passion of Ted Kennedy was not born of rigid ideology, but of his love of booze, hot chicks and Notre Dame. It is the experience of seeing Miami and Ohio State win National Championships. He was "sickened" by the likes of USC, Boston College, Miami, Oklahoma, Florida and West Virginia experiencing success. He knew that, although the measure of our society is how we treat the least among us, when the least went to USC, or Florida, etc., ...., well, .... F them.

He wrote: "When I arrive at the pearly gates, I will pull God aside, have a snort, ask him where Jane Mansfield is (and if her head has benn re-attached), and DEMAND that Notre Dame be rewarded with a National Championship. THAT IS OUR CALLING!! THAT IS OUR CHARACTER!! THAANK YOU, and GOD BLESS NOTRE DAME"

Yours in Nyquil,
TKen

p.s.: GLORY!!

p.s.2.: Stone.

I dub the Notre Dame Defense...THE DEATH PANEL!!

2009-09-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

THIS TIME, WE'RE FOR REAL!!

Years on the run have taught me important lessons in keeping a level-head

2009-09-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

and I will apply those lessons now as it relates to Notre Dame football.

The Wildcat should be euthenized like grandma under the death panel.

The defensive line was out-muscled by a WAC team.

Rich Rodriguez's offense was initially designed to defeat aggressive blitzing defenses.

The mums are still in the stadium.

All of the foregoing must give one pause.

I have thus re-evaluated my view of this team.

I now declare them, in all honesty and objectivity .... THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!

I now declare today's win .... THE GREATEST WIN IN THE STORIED HISTORY OF NOTRE DAME!!

I now declare Michael Floyd a DIVINE GOD-MAN!!

Stop One on the ROad to Glory ... 35-0!!

We are UNDEFEATED and UNSCORED UPON!!

Stone.

I have received literally TWOs of requests to get ready for the season...

2009-09-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

This high security site will not allow me to post a music file, but I can post a video file containing music. So I give you, by popular demand of a few.... The Day .... The Losing .... DIED!!

Inside the body of this post is a comprehensive list of IRISH WEAKNESSES...

2009-09-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Pork and Beans

2009-08-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

Well, because I am hip, I will now add TWEETS to this place

2009-08-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

7:01:09 --- TWEET --- This is pretty cool...

7:02:14 --- TWEET --- Still WICKED cool...

7:03:22 --- TWEET --- in STONE!!

7:05:55 --- TWEET --- I've seen a lot of weird stuff, but this is AWESOME!!

7:07:02 --- TWEET --- Velvet feels good against my face, but better between my toes

7:09:32 --- TWEET --- [BURP!!!!!]

7:14:48 --- TWEET --- Sorry for the break there ... I was pondering donuts

7:17:25 --- TWEET --- Maureen McFaddon, Michiana's Ultimate Working Mom

7:19:13 --- TWEET --- STILL WICKED COOL!!

7:22:04 --- TWEET --- 137, the fine structure constant, coalesces electomagnatism (e+/-), quantum mechanics(Plank's constant) and relativity (c)

7:23:14 --- TWEET --- Come to the Honeycomb Hideout!!

7:24:31 --- TWEET --- I love this Tweeter thing!!

7:25:01 --- TWEET --- He may still be a gbot, there is NO DEFINITIVE PROOF refuting it

7:26:59 --- TWEET --- Walter Johnson said Smokey Joe Wood threw harder than anyone, but even Joe said Sir Walter was just being kind

7:28:47 --- TWEET --- Man ... I feel like a woman .... DEET DEET Dah DEEE DAh DEET

7:30:19 --- TWEET --- Goldfish [TM] vary depending upon what season they were made

7:33:04 --- TWEET --- ND is a TEAM WITHOUT WEAKNESS OR PEER!!

7:34:09 --- TWEET --- Lassiter!!

7:34:57 --- TWEET --- CHOOO CHOOOOOOOOOOO!!

7:35:46 --- TWEET --- Reformulated Nyquil stinks.

7:37:11 --- TWEET --- I wonder if I can tweet while I ....

7:38:22 --- TWEET --- Jdjbewd banldb Ewwww ....Ewwwww... Ewwww.... Yuck .... Nope.

7:40:17 --- TWEET --- nasty

7:41:58 --- TWEET --- I have squirrels for friends

7:43:23 --- TWEET --- ArrrrrrMando....ArrrrrrMando.....ArrrrMANDO!!

7:33:45 --- TWEET --- heee heee heee....sausage fingers

7:35:02 --- TWEET --- Can you braid nose hairs??

7:35:45 --- TWEET --- Pee Wee Peet Carol, your last name is a GIRL's NAME!!

7:36:23 --- TWEET --- GLORY!! GLORY!! GLORY!!

7:37:08 --- TWEET --- Obama.....Obama .... Obama ... It's just so pretty to say ... Obama .... Obama.... Obama!!

7:38:11 --- TWEET --- The Filthy Rich should pay more ... because they can!!

7:39:54 --- TWEET --- Not only will I mess with Texas, I will mess ON Texas!!

7:41:32 --- TWEET --- TapiocaJoe

7:42:45 --- TWEET --- Choo Choo Charlie Weis ia genius. That part is not disputed.

7:44:17 --- TWEET --- Ohio Late....hahahahahahaahahaha

7:45:21 --- TWEET --- For personal reasons, I am unable to fight you tonight. I hope you learned a valuable lesson.

7:47:04 --- TWEET --- Here I sit, my buns a flexin...

7:51:33 --- TWEET --- Health care reform is TOO IMPORTANT to go through the political process. We need to put Robert Culp in charge.

7:52:49 --- TWEET --- I have found that belly button detritis IS edible, but toe jam is to be avoided at all costs

7:54:06 --- TWEET --- Maaamaaaamaaaa MY TENUTA!!

7:55:18 --- TWEET --- Removing the muumuu ...

7:57:04 --- TWEET --- I wonder if I can TWEET in the shower....

7:59:57 === TWEET === So far, so .... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT

........

I KNOW WHY THE DEMS PUT OFF THE HEALTH CARE VOTE UNTIL THE FALL....

2009-08-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

Because after three months of the THE MIGHTY LADS OF NOTRE DAME, THE FIGHTING IRISH THROTTLING THE YOUTH OF AMERICA from the two MOST IMPORTANT political SWING STATES .... Michigan and Pennsylvania AND the home-town colleges of the Speaker of the HOUSE and the Majority Leader of the SENATE, NOT TO MENTION the state of BEBEDICT ARNOLD JOE LIEBERMAN, America and its leaders will be BEGGING FOR HEALTH CARE REFORM!!

Put it .... IN STONE!!

ND 13-0

Health Care Reform: 435-0, 100-0, 1-0!!

2009-08-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Evil One

USC FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS NO TROUBLE WITH THE LAW

2009-08-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES (AP) – University of Southern California junior football player Terry Minard has no pending criminal charges, University officials announced at a hastily-called Monday afternoon press conference at USC’s Heritage Hall in Los Angeles.

“Terry has not been charged with any assaults, sexual or otherwise, has not fled the scene of any criminal activity, has not waived a real or replica firearm at anyone, has not solicited a prostitute, did not have any controlled substances found in his apartment, has not been linked to the illegal distribution of steroids, and, to the best of our knowledge, has not received improper benefits from agents” University spokesman Michael Johnson recounted. “We have no explanation for this,” continued Johnson.

Reached while vacationing in Hawaii, USC Head Coach Pete Carroll at first denied the reports. “When you’ve been at the top like us, there’s a lot of jealousy out there, and these reports of no criminal activity come from out time to time, and it’s usually underblown. Our detractors will continue to make these kinds of accusations, and all we can do is keep our focus where it should be: bringing young men into an environment where lawlessness, rule-breaking, over-aggressiveness, performance-enhancing drugs, and homo-erotic symbolism are allowed to dominate all aspects of their lives.” When advised that the University had confirmed the reports of no criminal activity by Minard, Carroll added: “Well, certainly that will be something we will look into. If there is an issue there, we’ll get to the bottom of it. In fact, I am jacked to have the opportunity to treat this lack of criminality as a real ‘teaching moment’ for Terry and others who might choose to go down such a regrettable road.”

Reached at his apartment at Cardinal Gardens, the site of a number of prior illegal acts by USC football players, Minard, a reserve safety who has seen limited minutes the last two seasons, was nonplussed by the controversy. “It’s odd. Lack of trouble just seems to follow me. It’s not like I say to myself each morning ‘I’m going to avoid assaulting people or being involved with illegal substances.’ It just seems to happen that way. I can’t explain it.” When asked whether he thought his lack of lawlessness had impacted his playing time, Minard added “Coach Carroll has talked to me about it, and it’s something we’re working on. He gave me ‘The Inner Game of Tennis’ and ‘Helter Skelter to read together, and I really think I’ll get this turned around.”

Experts noted that the lack of criminal activity among football players at major programs is on the rise. Dr. Noel James, a sociologist at the University of Denver who has written on the phenomenon, believes that it’s just part of a “lawfulness culture” that has been on the rise in all aspects of society recently. “Major college sports reflects our society, and we are seeing a spike in people playing by the rules in our culture,” notes Dr. James. “Our youth take their cues from our leaders, and when our President does not break the law routinely, it is an unfortunate but certain trickle-down effect that our youth will also stop breaking the law. Unless and until we can get, for instance, another Vice-President who shoots people for no reason, we can expect this uptick in lawfulness to continue.”

Coach Carroll noted that since the incarceration of USC great O.J. Simpson, it has been harder to bring in examples of lawlessness for the team to learn from. “Back in the day, we could bring in OJ to get these kids off the straight and narrow. But with the travesty in Nevada, he’s out of pocket for 25 to life, so we’ll just have to go elsewhere to get the message out.” Carroll noted that the summer can be a particularly difficult time for coaches to monitor their players’ lawlessness. “With all the free time they have, you can’t always be there to choose for the kid. All you can do is give him the information and the tools and the knowledge. Then he’s on his own. If he messes up and choices to make a lawful decision, it doesn’t mean we don’t still love him. It just means that we have to teach him the Trojan Way a little better.

USC’s spokesman Michael Johnson was careful not to attribute Minard’s instance of law-abidedness to any societal or University trend. “This is just one kid who sadly chose a path of integrity. No one should take this to mean that Coach Carroll or the University condone such a choice, or that it reflects any sort of trend. We stand on our prior record which shows that this lawfulness is an aberration which will not be permitted to fester.”

i just did a regression analysis

2009-08-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

of seasons in which (1) Notre Dame had an overweight head football coach; (2) from New Jersey; (3) with a starting QB from Southern California; (4) With a Democratic President; (5) from Illinois; (6) who was born in EITHER Hawaii OR Kenya, and I found, based STRICTLY ON THE NUMBERS, that there has NEVER been a situation in which those circumstances have been all SIMULTANEOUSLY met in which Notre Dame FAILED to win a National Championship in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!! Zero. Nada. None. It has simply never happened that when Notre Dame had an overweight head football coach from New Jersey and a QB from Southern California, and the US had a President from Illinois who was born in EITHER Hawaii or Kenya that Notre Dame failed to win a National Champioship.

I've got to say I like our chances.

2009-08-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

The parallels between Notre Dame and Obama are Striking.

2009-08-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

For example, Notre Dame is God, Country, Notre Dame. And that is what Obama is about. Whereas Republicans and the rest of the college football world despise Catholics and Catholic teaching when it comes to social justice. Look no further than George Bush's visit to Bob Jones University and the fact that only the DEMOCRATS have nominated a Catholic candidate for PRESIDENT (twice) whereas Repbulicans campaign at anti-Catholic bastions and have accused Democratic Catholic candidates of being "agents" of the Papacy. Sickening Republicans.

Notre Dame teaches its students to help the less fortunate and the downtrodden. Obama does the same, including his call for health care reform to address the needs of the less fortunate. The poor have little or no access to health care. Human dignity deserves such asscess. To be opposed to it, as the Republicans are, is reprehensible.

Notre Dame focuses on service. So does Obama, a community organizer. As near as I can tell, the only service the Repbulicans care about is how well their waiters took care of them at the yacht club. Again, Notre Dame and Obama are like a hand in glove.

God Bless Notre Dame. God Bless Obama. And God Bless the LADS!!

Stone.

Holy ^&%$^&&$ing $&%@$!!

2009-06-08T21:31:00.001-07:00

I just got off the phone with Choo Choo Charlie Weis. The conversation went something like this:

MARCO: Hey, GBot!!
CW: CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
MARCO: What is the GOOOOD WORD??
CW: Well, I'm not allowed to talk about recruits. But I can tell you that I've signed FIVE new .... DECRUITS!! I can talk about DECRUITS!! .. and in a word, they are ..... FREAKING AWESOME!! Incredible combinations of SPEED, POWER, AGILITY and SMARTS!! These are BLUE CHIP DECRUITS!! UN-bloody-STOPPABLE!!
MARCO: Preach it my BROTHER GENIUS ROBOT!!
CW: Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that Pee Weet Peet Carol's last name is a GIRL's NAME!!
MARCO: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
CW: GBot ..... OUT!!

The Starting Lineup of our Next Opponent, the Nevada Fudge Pack

2009-05-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

OFFENSE:

T 50 Mike “Bolshoi” Gallett

G 62 John Bender “over”

C 63 Kenneth “the Page” Ackerman

G 75 Chris “My Girlfriend’s a Real” Barker

T 73 Alonzo “Mosely” Durham

TE 85 Virgil “Mass” Green

Z 82 Tray-ning Session

X 14 Chris “Beef” Wellington

F 18 Brandon Wimberly “Stadium”

RB 34 Vai-"agra" Taua

QB 10 “Perforated” Colin Kaepernick

DEFENSE:
E 55 Dontay”ke my lunch money” Moch

T 90 Chris Slack”-er”

T 95 Nate “I’ll buy the letter “A”” Agaiava

E 99 Kevin “Lombardi Watch-List” Basped

SAM 52 James-Michael ”-Christopher-William-Edward-Steven-Peter” Johnson

MIKE 36 Mike “Football is confusing so they put me at a position the same as my name” Bethea

WOLF 33 Brandon “Penny” Marshall

CB 45 Antoine”-tte” Thompson

SS 25 Mo”-ooooooo” Harvey

FS 49 Jonathon “anapaestic trimester” Amaya

CB 32 Isaiah Frey”-D … to a CRISP … as in BURNT …. LIKE Elvis “Toast” Patterson”

The MARKETS have SPOKEN!!

2009-05-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the flurry of Right-Wingnuts (like Rove, Hannipee, Lamebaugh) and the filthy rich told us to "trust the markets....they know best" when it comes to how a President is faring. Well, a little over four months into the Obama Administration, and the DJIA is UP....WAY UP ... up almost 500 points from the close on Inauguration Day!! At this pace, the DJIA will gain OVER 10,000 points in Obama's eight years in office -- getting us above 20,000 -- DOUBLING the value of the equities markets!! YIPPEE!!

And how did the Bush Administration do?? Ooops, HUGE, RECORD LOSSES!!

Perhaps the markets do know something!!

From the Marco Morning Squawk Box: BUY BUY BUY Notre Dame and OBAMA ADMINISTRATION FUTURES!!

All right, Spary-Puss. Now you have gone TOO FAR!!

2009-05-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

I could handle the person attacks on me, following your treachery after the troubles. I could handle the rearranging of my furniture, the stealing of the velvet, the peanut butter incident, and even the constant surveillance. I even came to terms with how you broke Purdoo Pete's heart, and did so with glee.

But now you've gone TOO FAR!! Upon learning the Dick Vitale's daughter went to Notre Dame, you became so enraged that you RIPPED HIS FACE OFF!!

The poor bastard was left stammering, while miming the removal of a mask ..."Face .... OFF!! Face .... OFF!!" Then, with a horrible scream ... "AWFUL BABY!!" I'm a DEFACED DANDY@!!"

For this, my sausage-fingered-fiend, you will pay and pay DEARLY!!

Stunning!! GLORIOUS!! Obama!! Notre Dame!!

2009-05-17T16:38:00.001-07:00

The intersection of Team Obama and Team Notre Dame occurred and it was .... GLORIOUS!! A NEW PATH of LOVE, RESPECT and JUSTICE has been laid by America's TWO SHINING LIGHTS .... OBAMA and NOTRE DAME.

And that new path will lead the Notre Dame football team to UTTERLY DEMOLISH, HUMILIATE AND DEPANTS all comers, including Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name) (except for the depants part, because Pee Wee Peet wears skirts), but we shall do it with love, respect and Justice as we BEAT THEM INTO THE GROUND!!

Republican-Created Davie-station GUARANTEES Notre Dame National CHAMPIONSHIP in 2009!!

2009-05-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

ITEM: Two biggest Stock market crashes in the last 90 years, 1929 and 1987....BOTH followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY IN 1930 and 1988. Crash of 2008 GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Major Automaker (Studebaker) gets government loans to stay afloat in desperate times (1933) but finally gives up the ghost and declares bankruptcy about 30 years later in early 1966, followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in the Fall of 1966!! Loan guarantees to Chrysler to stay alive in the late 1970s followed by eventual bankruptcy of Chrysler 30 years later in early 2009 GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Most expensive war in American history at the time, WWII, saw an end and a withdrawal of American troops from former combat areas starting in 1945, followed IMMEDIATELY by NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 1946. In 2008, American announces a plan to withdrawal of troops from Iraq, the most expensive American war since WWII, from all Iraqi cities is to be completed by June 2009 and GUARANTEES Notre Dame GLORY in 2009!!

ITEM: Last frightening PANDEMIC outbreak of the H1/N1 influenza virus starts in 1918 and PANIC sweeps the globe, but GLORY is about to sweep NOTRE DAME as the same year new Head Coach KNUTE ROCKNE starts his first season as ND coach, eventually leading us almost IMMEDIATELY TO NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 6 of his 13 seasons. 2009 sees the H1/N1 influenza outbreak turn into a GLOBAL PANIC, but fear not, because we have the next great NOTRE DAME head coach at the helm, with 4 years under his belt, Choo Choo Charlie Weis is destined to win NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in 6 of the next 9 seasons, starting RIGHT NOW!!

ITEM: Though not directly related to Republican devastation, the last time a DEMOCRATIC President delivered the Commencement Address at Notre Dame's graduation only four months after inauguration: Jimmy Carter in May, 1977, which led IMMEDIATELY to NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY in the Fall of 1977. Next up, PRESIDENT OBAMA to deliver a ROUSING Commence Address at Notre Dame's graduation, only four months after inauguration, in May 2009, which shall lead DIRECTLY and IMMEDIATELY to NOTRE DAME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY!!

The Republican-caused DEVASTATION of the past few years has hurt the poor, the downtrodden, and true-blooded Americans. HOWEVER, in a crazy twist of fate, those WASPy Filthy Rich Fat Cats are HOIST ON THEIR OWN PETARD as their devastation has SEWN THE SEEDS for NOTRE DAME GLORY!!

Stone.

Holy COW!! It's like America's Greatest Hits are All Coming Back at Once!!

2009-05-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

UNION POWER: On the RISE!! The Working Man is TAKING OVER THE MODES OF PRODUCTION!! Happy Days are here AGAIN!!

PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT EVERY DAY FOLKS BACK IN THE WHITE HOUSE: It's been quite a while since we had people in the executive branch who put the needs of the poorest among us above the hedonistic wants of the filthy rich.

SWINE FLU: Despite Republican efforts to rename it H1N1, or R2D2, or whatever, they cannot hide the return of SWINE POWER!!

NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL: We are BACK!! Notre Dame DOMINANCE will return, just like American DOMINANCE is returning!!

Karl Rove and his FILTHY FRIENDS stole BILLIONS of dollars thanks to Henry PAW-SOME, put American lives all over the world at risk with their TORTURE policies and WAR CRIMES, and turned Democratic-created budget SURPLUSES into RECORD DEFICITS, a bloody DEPRESSION and a slew of foreign policy disasters!! Thank GOD for OBAMA and the return of NOTRE DAME GLORY!!

USA #1!!
ND #1!!

Many have asked me lately, ...

2009-04-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

How it was that Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name) was not able to successfully convince Mark Sanchez to stay at USC for his final year of eligibility??

Of course, we all know the story of how PWPC was able to convince Matt Lienert (Man Love Run Amok) but why didn't a similar campaign of man love work for Mark Sanchez?? Well, I've put my people ON IT, and we've got the answer.

Chapter 1: Love Blooms

Things started out well enough. It was Fall on the campus of USC, and reliving a tradition going back to the ancient Troy itself (or at least to Ed Ogeron), man's fancy turned to .... other men. Specifically, it was the Fall of 2008, and Pee Wee Peet Carol's fancy turned to his new quarterback, Mark Sanchez.

Now Peet was still reeling from losing the love of his life, Matt Lienert, to the NFL two years earlier. Although the torrid affair affair between Pee Wee Peet and Matt ended on a downer at the Rose Bowl in January 2006, Pee Wee Peet still loved Matt. How could anyone replace him??

Pee Wee thought he'd found the perfect replacement with John David Booty (to quote Pee Wee Peet "how could I go wrong with a guy named Booty??"), it just didn't pan out. Whether it was the two first names, his telegraphing of passes, or his dislike of morning spooning time, J.D. just wasn't the one. Heading into the Fall of 2008, Pee Wee was aching for a man to replace Matt. And Mark Sanchez proved to be an able suitor who blinked his eyes, oiled up his pecs and found his way into Pee Wee's heart.

The two fell into each other arms' and lives' like they were made for each other. Things were looking good for Pee Wee Peet Carol (who's last name is a girl's name). He'd found his man. He asked only one thing of Mark: "Mark, promise me, PROMISE ME, you'll never think of the NFL without me!!" Mark looked deep into Pee Wee Peet's eyes and said "Peet, you've got yourself a quarterback, a lover, and a DEAL!!" And they were so happy.

Chapter 2: Control goes to Out of Control

Things were going well in the Pee Wee Peet -- Mark Sanchez love affair. But as the season began to come to a close, Pee Wee knew the siren song of the NFL could try to woo his love interest away from him. It had happened before. So he decided to try a new tack: Mark was not allowed to leave the USC campus without Pee Wee with him, and even then, Mark was to be TIED DOWN with seatbelts that had confounding locks that NO USC STUDENT could undue:

Pee Wee also installed a series of skin electrodes, strategically placed on Mark S's body to detect any form of NFL-related thoughts in Matt's brain, and send immediate message to Pee Wee Peet's Facebook page in the form of a siren.

At first, Mark, being from Orange County, thought nothing of these restrictions. But as time went on, and seeing that Rey Rey and Cushing had no such restrictions, he began to wonder.

The Breakup

Well, some would say it was bound to happen. The band .38 Special put it best: "Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you squeeze too tightly, you're going to lose control." Mark began to question the seatbelts, the electrodes, the weird breathing on his phone. "I'm the quarterback of USC!!" Thoughts of the future began to creep in. He remembered the promise he made to Peet, but the temptations were there. Mark made it through the season. But after the Bowl game, ....

Then, one day in early January, while listening Liza and watching the Wizard of Oz, Peet Facebook page WENT OFF!!

"OMG" thought Peet. That's the alarm!! Mark is THINKING ABOUT THE NFL!! He PROMISED me he would NEVER think of the NFL without ME!! OMG!! OMG!!"

Peet put his pants on and RUSHED next door to Mark's room. "I KNOW you were just thinking of the NFL without ME!!" screamed Pee Wee Peet. You said you were just going to do your white paper for class" (as an aside, at USC, doing a "white paper" means finding a piece of white paper and turning it in as such, to show you can differentiate both objects (paper from say, a TV) and colors (white paper from say, purple paper) -- on the football team, 70% can successfully navigate the assignment (it would have been 80% except Cushing thought the professor said "white pooper" and ripped out a toilet from the wall and brought it to class)). But I know you were THINKING ABOUT THE NFL WITHOUT ME!!"

"No, I swear, Pee Wee, I wasn't NOT thinking about the NFL without you!! I would NEVER do that, I promised you!! begged Mark. But Peet would have none of it. His electrodes had caught Mark in the act. Pee Wee shouted "You're LYING!! My electrodes are FOOLPROOF!! You were thinking about the NFL!! We're THROUGH, you and I!!" Tears began welling up in Mark's eyes. "But, but, but, ..." he stammered. "Pet names won't help you now, Mark. You've hurt me, and now I'm going to hurt you." Veins bulged out of Peet's neck, as he was about to utter words that he knew he could never take back. "I still love Matt and I've been seeing him behind your back. In fact, the whole reason he's not a starter in the NFL is because by being a backup, he has more time to spend with me!!"

Mark was CRUSHED!! Matt was still his idol. To hear that Pee Wee had gone back to Matt and cheated on Mark with Matt was too much. Mark let out an Oregerian howl and began sobbing uncontrollably. He grabbed his white piece of paper and stormed out of the apartment.

"Good riddance," thought Peet. He never even thought to check the "MIND IMAGE" that the electrodes had created from Mark's brain that set off the siren.

The Public Finale

Well, we all know what happened next.

Pee Wee was STEAMING MAD at Mark:

Mark was FILLED WITH RAGE toward Pee Wee Peet:

Mark went to the NFL to spite Peet. Peet publicly took Mark to task. And of course, the BITTER, BITTER farewell:

It wasn't until weeks later, as Pee Wee Peet was sending love texts to Aaron, and missing the teenage duo Karffigian, that he saw that he never actually opened the "MIND IMAGE" that the electrodes had captured from Mark's Brain. The NFL thought that Mark had that sent off the sirens and caused the breakup. The image by which Mark had broken his promise never to think of the NFL without Peet. Peet took a deep breath, clicked on the image that ended his love affair with Mark. Upon seeing it, he recoiled in shame and horror. He fell back onto his waterbed and cried out at what he had seen:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mark, Lane,Steve, Matt .... COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Blue and Gold Game has left the College Footbal World BLUE

2009-04-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

knowing that the LEVIATHAN of the Northern Indiana Plains HAS RISEN, and has left we Irish Fans GOLDEN because because to be undefeated Notre Dame must have no L's, and when you take the L out of Gold you are left with GOD!! A Nostradamusesque Sign of NOTRE DAME GLORY on the way!! Take the L out of GLORY and you've got our Opposition after we're done with them ..... GORY!! Take the L out of our QB's name and he will be CAUSEN us to win a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!! We are an L-FREE ZONE, except for L McPhearson.

We're on the Road to Gory....Come on inside!!

GORY!!
GORY!!
GORY!!

Happy EASTER, EVERYONE!!

2009-04-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

The LORD is Risen!!

And other good signs:

(1) Pirates are once again ON THE RUN, as AMERICAN MIGHT and RIGHTEOUSNESS (led by the Glorious Pres. Obama) has LAID DOWN THE LAW!!

(2) Greatest 14-day rise in the S&P 500 in SEVENTY FREAKING YEARS (once again led by Glorious Pres. Obama)

(3) The World, once again, LOVES AMERICA (thanks again to GPO)

(4) Notre Dame is talked about ALL OVER THE TV lately (thanks again, Fr. Jenkins and GPO)

(5) Notre Dame ticket applications are IN THE MAIL (GPO gets some credit as the US mails are handling the delivery and are under His auspices)

(6) Notre Dame 2009 Football Schedule has NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP written ALL OVER IT!!

(7) ALL REPORTS from Spring practice show .... the Irish HAVE RISEN!!

(8) The only thing the 2009 Notre Dame team is lacking .... is a WEAKNESS!!

(9) USC on the road ... to DESTRUCTION!!

(10) Goldfish (TM) crackers no longer using basketball shapes instead of FISH!!

STONE!!

FYI .... on the QT....

2009-04-11T02:20:00.000-07:00

the head coach of a MAJOR high school football program (coached multiple state championships, a future Heisman Trophy winner and numerous All-Americans) attended a couple of Notre Dame practices last week and commented "Notre Dame's #1s are the best I've ever seen there. The Defense is fast and talented, and Frank Verducci brings great intensity to the O-Line. They aren't as deep at some positions as USC, but at most positions, the #1s look comparable."

Stone.

The Intersection of Obama and Notre Dame = GLORY!!

2009-03-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Of COURSE our "game changer" President Obama would choose to give his first elective commence address at the GREATEST University in America -- Notre Dame!!

and of COURSE our GLORIOUS Notre Dame would choose to invite as its commencement speaker the Greatest Political LEADER of our TIME ..... PRESIDENT OBAMA!!

It truly is a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN that shall lead to GLORY for ALL!!

G L O R Y!!

GOD....BLESS....OBAMA ... AND ..... WEIS!!

2009-03-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Obama is saving our nation, despite what can only be characterized as laughable attempts by the Republicans, on behalf of the Filth Rich, trying to derail his attempts to make this country better. Better.

Weis is saving Notre Dame football.

The early returns...are strong. The stock market .... UP RECORD AMOUNTS this week. Notre Dame recruiting....THE GREATEST THREE CONSECUTIVE CLASSES IN ND STORIED HISTORY!!

Both Russia and USC shall feel the PAIN of the return of Democrats and Choo Choo Charlie Weis .... TO POWER!!

God Bless Obama and Weis. And THANK GOD John McCain is left back to taking money from the rich but without power to do their bidding with banking regulators. If John McCain had been elected, you can BET THE FARM that Charles Keating and his ilk would be lining their pockets as before.

Stone.

I had a little blip over New Years

2009-02-16T11:38:00.001-08:00

and during the NFL playoffs, and during the Super Bowl, the ups and downs of the MLB hot stove kept me seeking food refuge, and of course reruns of The West Wing on Bravo (and RHOC and Top Chef too) demand cheap wine and Goldfish [TM] crackers, and Valentines candies hit me hard, so as of right now, Notre Dame is on pace to score negative 24 TDs this season.

But now, the ides of February/March kick in, with no visible impediments at bar, NOW is when the Divinely ordered weight loss SHALL BEGIN!! I plan to be UNDER 280 by the start of MARCH MADNESS!!

Stone.

I have been told, again, that I must make amends to people I have harmed

2009-01-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

So, to Pete Carroll, I'm sorry I've harmed you and I would like to make it up to you. Perhaps I could get on the phone with you when you call Joe McKnight. Or you I could accidentally bump into you as I leave the restroom and we could "chat" during a quiet period. Or I could show up with a $10,000 wristwatch, $5,000 diamond stud earring and a tricked out Impala, and you could pretend not to notice.....

[OK, OK --- sos (sponsor over shoulder)]

I am very sorry I've harmed you and if there is anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.

Regards,

Marco

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2008-12-31T20:37:00.000-08:00

As we head into 2009, all I hear on the TV is negativity. People worried about the economy, the Middle East, and a war on the other end of the earth.

It sounds alot like the early 1970s.

What we need to pull us out of this funk, is the same thing that SAVED OUR NATION back in the 1970s/1980s. It was not, as some have speculated, the Bush-named Voodoo Supply-side economics. It was NOT David Stockman. It was NOT the 1980 Olympic Hockey Team.

No. What pulled us out of that funk?? Catch-phrases. Yes, a series of catch-phrases, designed by Hollywood and Madison Avenue pitchmen that brightened our day, put a spring in our step, and always, ALWAYS, gave us something to fall back on in otherwise forced conversation that could give us all a shared chuckle. They restored confidence in ourselves, our economy, and ultimately, at its peak in ROCKY IV, our NATION and THE WORLD!!

You sank my battleship!!

DY-NO-MIIIIIIIIITE!!

I also love the easy opening cans!!

WhatchyouTalkinBoutWillis??!!??

Baseball, Hot Dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet!!

I am not a crook [technically not invented by Madison Avenue or Hollywood, but penned by one of equal moral values so useful nonetheless]

Sit on it!!

Sorry, Charlie.

OOOHHHHH!! OOOOOHHH!! OOOOOOOOHH!! [with hand raised vigorously]

I DARE you to knock it off!!

Hey You GUUUUUUUUUUUUYSSSS!!

Riunite on Ice, SO NICE!!

No WONDER we pulled out of our national death spiral, catch phrases like that to elevate us, alleviate us, and aerate us!! We couldn't HELP but PULL OURSELVES UP BY OUR BOOTSTRAPS and humbly and with great humility, once again DOMINATE AND SUBGAGATE the WORLD!!

For 2009, all I want is are a series of catch phrases to SAVE DEMOCRACY, OUR NATION AND THE FUTURE!! Some sort of daytime AND nighttime sniffling, sneazing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can rest medicine. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!!

So, for 2009 I say .....

EAT A BISCUIT, NOT A TRISCUIT!!

or

WRECKED HIM?? DARNED NEAR KILLED HIM!!

or, last but not least,

DESTINATION ................. GLORY!!

I am watching our next opponent, Nevada, play at the Humanitarian Bowl and I am FRIGHTENED!!

2008-12-30T14:11:00.000-08:00

They appear to be SHAPE-SHIFTERS who apparently can alter the color of the playing field and then use a CHAMELEON-like ability to BLEND IN WITH THEIR SURROUNDINGS!! They have somehow created a BLUE FIELD and have changed their colors to BLUE making themselves ESSENTIALLY INVISIBLE!!

Here is our answer for our game on Sept. 5, 2009: Bring in the Chinese who did the opening ceremonies to create a huge LCD HD TURF on our field, and then run pictures of SICKLY, BLIND MIDGETS who FUMBLE ALOT on the Field TV, so when Nevada does it's chameleon shape-shifting, THEY TOO will be SICKLY, BLIND MIDGETS who FUMBLE ALOT, which will lead us ... TO GLORY!!

Oh yes, and we will spray them with perfume as they come out of the tunnel so that our Lads can use their olfactory senses to distinguish the Nevada SICKLY, BLIND MIDGETS who FUMBLE ALOT from the TV SICKLY, BLIND MIDGETS who FUMBLE ALOT. Stone.

God Spoke to me in a Vision

2008-12-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I think it was God. He took the form of my neighbor's dog. At first, He told me Erasmus exited his monastery in 1491, and Columbus sailed the Ocean Blue in 1492. I did not see the connection, but the dog/God insisted that there was one, somewhat angrily as a matter of fact.

But then He said this:

NEIGHBOR'S DOG: You, Marco, are a fat slob. How much do you weigh??

ME: Talking Dog, aren't you omniscient??

NEIGHBOR'S DOG: Shut the &^%%@ up. Answer the ##&%R^@ing question!!

ME: I'm not sure. Some where around 280 pounds

NEIGHBOR'S DOG: You are a fat slob. Your fatness is an insult to me. You are
ordered to lose weight in 2009 -- which 1 Billion Chinamen will call the year of the
Ox. Weigh yourself on January 1. For each pound you lose by September 4, 2009, I shall grant Notre Dame an offense Touchdown during the upcoming season. The Official Weigh-in shall be in front of the Notre Dame Basilica at 4:00 pm on Sept. 4. Their success rises and falls entirely with you. Based upon what I can see, it will fall.

ME: Dude/dog, shouldn't you already know how many points Notre Dame is going to score in 2009 based upon the whole omniscience thing again?? And should you really refer to them as "Chinamen"??

NEIGHBOR'S DOG: Shut the ##%@! up.

So let the challenge begin. Anyone living near the Basilica got a scale??